A Trip

“A trip, a safari, an exploration, is an entity, different from all other journeys.  It has personality, temperament, individuality, uniqueness.  A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike” - Travels with Charley 

Tidings

These past few days were kind of a blur to me.  Some things that were unexpected to happen or should I say, waiting to happen, happened. It was slowly sinking in until last Thursday, news came to me that my highschool ka-barkada is going to be a mother. 

And I was ecstatic! We knew all these years that she was going to be the first to be a mom. My whole barkada was so happy that some of us were actually crying, including me. It was overwhelming. You see, we haven't really seen each other for a long time. Like almost a year or two. We were never complete when we had gatherings and coordinating with them was a big pain in the ass (But thank you Elaine!).  So hearing this good news was really a blessing. It's the first baby of the barkada and I just know the baby will spoiled by us, the whole seven of us titas. 

To Mads and Carlo, Congratulations!! I could not be any happier for the two of you! 

Ten years bago naging totoo ang hula :D 

To Baby Tols, can't wait to meet you! 

To the rest of my barkada, I'll see you on December!! Let us brave the traffic of Zapote Road and visit our party house back in high school, more importantly, visit Mads and have blastin' Christmas! 

I  miss and love you all!! <3 

Us, some ten++ years ago 

This needs updating^^

The power of smile

:) Just smile at me. 

  45 LIFE LESSONS, WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Realization

I went to visit the Brighton Photo Fringe 2 weeks ago. I volunteered to invigilate for some days in November and decided to check the venue as well as the exhibitions so I will get the feeling of it. 

As a struggling photographer, I was dumbfounded with the exhibitions I saw. I felt my works were immature and nonsensical. After reviewing my portfolio, gosh, it was awful. I had some catching up to do BIG TIME. Where the hell I have been all this time? I need depth, passion and determination. 

I want to tell you a story. I want to tell one so bad! 

P.S. 

Mr. Sun. please shine on Eastbourne. Pretty Please? 

Monthsary

It has been a month since I arrived here in this beautiful country. I am loving every minute of it. I am very, very, very, very thankful!! 

I got hooked on the cycle craze! There was a week when all I did was cycle! I did cycle on a highway which was CRAAAZZZZZY (I will never do that again!) I would never do that back home but here, sige lang! I cycled on grass, asphalt, gravel, hay field, mud, uphill, downhill, under a bridge/rail track. I cycled under the rain which was fun and damp! I got stung by plants but kept going. I trespassed a farm in order to get to the pavement of a highway. I discovered lovely old towns like Alfriston. 

I must get a bicycle when I get home. I could cycle all day.

As a gift, I bought four books this week to celebrate my one month relationship with Britain. 

Next week, we'll be going to SCOTLAND!!! And the week after that, CORNWALL! And maybe a week after that, London naman or Harry Potter tour or Wicked musical. If not, I shall cycle all, er'day. 

Cheers Mate!

Coping

Every year, since my Lolo died in 2006, I try to remember him by making a “phenomenology” or a eulogy and submit it to Inquirer’s Youngblood. And every year, I fail to do that because the thought of him will send me to tears. Or so I think.  It is difficult for me to organize and recollect the life of my Lolo because back in my mind I know I could’ve asked him to share his story with me but opted not due to my selfishness, stubbornness and teen angst.

For the past six years, I have been visiting his mini library to know more about him. I browse through family photo albums and his work-related photo albums (Yes, he had a couple of them) to get the feeling of who he was. He did a lot of travelling and documented everything. He’d been to Japan, US and some parts of Europe. He submitted an article to Manila Times on how he travelled Europe by Eurail. He was a writer too.  He had a pen name and contributed articles to several local magazines and newspapers. He wrote love letters to my Lola and discovered them when we had a project regarding Hallmark cards. Every card that he ever received from family was pasted into a makeshift scrapbook and reading them one by one was very comforting and sad. And then there were birthday and Christmas cards from colleagues from different parts of the world.  He had known many people. I wish I knew him long enough to realize that he was essential to my being.

I remember calling him “Papa” during early childhood. I remember me him taking me and my sister to a gathering with his colleagues in a place where there was a waterfall.

 I remember frantically running away from the dance floor so that I will not be able dance the waltz with him in front of his department.

I remember him rescuing me and my sister from my mom’s night punishment. I remember when there was black out, he would dress up as hooded hunched back monster and would scare us with the aid of flashlight.

I remember him yelling at me after I spit water from my mouth in the dining because my brother was me telling a joke. He broke into a smile afterwards.

I remember him giving me 20 pesos for my baon back when I just started big school when we were only allowed to have 5 pesos.

I remember him buying me and my sister the Titanic soundtrack in Harrison Plaza after I recorded the soundtrack in a cassette tape, days before.

I remember writing him notes and leaving it on his desk or slipping it through the door of his room to ask if I could have some extra cash.

I remember him totally surprised and excited when I wanted to read the Harry Potter Series. He bought the first three series in hardbound for me. A few weeks later, he surprised with the fourth book.

I remember we used to pick him up after teaching either at UM or EAC. I clearly remember his attire when he goes to school to teach: long sleeves barong, slacks, Bass leather shoes and to accessorize, gold Cross pen.

I remember him giving me my first silver Parker pen back in 3^rd grade.

I remember him helping me with my investigative report back in first year HS.  Using his typewriter, he pounded the keys of it to come up with scientific sentences.

I remember he introduced me to The Sound of Music, Matt Monroe, Madonna, The Bee Gees, and The Carpenters.

I remember accompanying him to watch Dr. Zhivago on VHS. He returned the favour: he watched The Ring with me.

I remember him feeling so restless and useless having his hip replaced and bed ridden for years to come until his death.  

I remember during the burial of his sister, he cried a lot when he saw his relatives. I cried beside him. I remember him not remembering us.

I remember myself crying while commuting to QC, having learned that my Lolo was in the ICU and a chance of recovery was ambiguous. I remember entering the ICU and tears started pouring endlessly, words left unsaid.

On the last day of his wake, I remember we, his grandkids, decided to sleep next to him, one last time.

I would love to go on remembering him here in this post but it will take me painstakingly forever and a bucket of tears to do that. These recollections of him are my way of keeping him alive in me no matter how melancholic things have ended. My little way of coping. 

No highfalutin words can describe how much I miss you. So today, on your birthday, I want to tell you that you are my inspiration. You have compelled me to do good, great things in life. Happy Happy Birthday Lolo Neilo! Cheers!