Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The Invitation

By Oriah 

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Hi, it has been a while.

hi, it has been a while

i want to share something

but i dont know if i can

maybe in october

I cant help but think and wish and hope


that unfailing HOPE

and then it crushes you


Sunday, May 25, 2014

Kroooo kroooo krooooo

What to do?  What to do? 

I have to master each of them again. Touch them, feel them, give them my command. 

Priorities, Vitzka. Priorities. 

Tulog ko muna siguro ito.

Give me pain. Give me shit. Give me love? Anurao?

Exclusivity. Medyo nakakatakot. 

I need a long sleep. A dreamless sleep. 

Good night. 

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Twenty something

Hey, I turned 26 this month. And it wasn't so bad. 

I promised myself  not to make a big fuss about it. It worked.  

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Napanaginipan kita.

Halos lahat gusto ka makita sa panaginip, samantalang ako, ayoko. Eh bigla kang sumulpot nung Biyernes Santo. 

Nakasakay tayo sa isang 4WD. Sabi ko uwi na ako. Tiningnan mo ang oras, 13:49. 
Sabi mo, may oras pa tayo.  Di ko alam saan tayo patungo pero umiiyak lang ako sa biyahe. Inabutan mo ako ng panyo.

Ang ending natin sa Jollibee. Pero bumili ka ng pizza. hahahaha

Funny mo, Sir Don! Nakakainis.  Wala ka nung birthday ko.  

Miss ka na namin. Miss na kita.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

M, Manila

Everything about that area reminds me so much of you. I felt like my chest was about to burst with all the sadness I tried to keep in  for the past few days, or months for that matter. 

But at the same time, I can't help but laugh silently as I try to recall everything, mostly our  conversations. 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Highlights in my 11-year stay at St. Scholastica's College

Yesterday marked the feast day of St. Scholastica. In honor of her, (I know, I should be doing this during the school's foundation day. But I'm in a reminscing mood now.), I will tell you about the highlights of my stay at St.Scho Manila. 

Prep St. Reinildis - I made my first class cut at the tender young age of 6 years old! 

1 St. Clotsindis and 2 St. Willibald - I sorry, I cant even remember what happened here. LOL It will come to me in the coming days. 

3 St. Milburga - My first time to join a 3-day long trip to Ilocos Region. Fort Ilocandia Baby! I learned that I should open my camera when there's film inside, otherwise, Kodak will note "Exposed Film" in the package

4 St. Placid - I was asked to step out of the classroom because I was giving hand signals to my friend. First time to be part of the "star section". A Christmas Nightingale performace!!! 

5 St. Lioba - I met my future bestfriend. I was part of the class' volleyball team but didn't play during the intramurals. Number 5! Another 3-day trip to Baguio! 

6 St. Berno - Almost landed ingrade 7 but the universe did something, or the admin did some exemptions. whew!! A Midsummer Night's Dream, crazy production with  crazy issues. I learned not to comb my hair in public. It's cheap daw kasi.

1-A  I met my barkada for 7 years and counting.

2-I The whole year smelled like onion. HAHAHA!!  My first ever stage performance with me as one of main characters during the Afro-Asian Festival. Indiaaaa!! My class was shaken by Mr. Isidro's shout with matching banging on the table just because of the Dynastic Cyle and Fashion Cycle. Velcro! 

3-Assertiveness 3-ASS in short. These classmates of mine taught me how to ride the bicycle on the CCP grounds. Opened my eyes to the new world! LOL. I went to Boracay for the first time with most of my barkada! F4 invasion! 

4-Order One of the most disorder classes  of batch 2005, if not, the most teachers who walked out on us. Two of my "bestfriends" left me, one got pregnant, the other had to move to US. DC me, being Veyonce!! 

It was a good 11 years, I must say. 

Monday, February 3, 2014


Something has changed. It's like the spell that was casted upon me was finally broken. Maybe it was Maningning Miclat's poem and Warsan Shire's poem that helped me to actually see. Or time broke the spell. Or it was both. Or the realization that I am Vitzka! Stop doing these things to yourself! 

Thank you, you two,for being a cruel part of my life. 


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

last words

I was reconsidering last night if I shall continue to ride the bus going home from Cubao. Last night, the bus ride home gave me one thing to think about: death. 

I sit beside windows when I ride the bus especially if it's a long one. Last night, I hopped in a JRMS bus because I really wanted to go home already. Usually, I would wait for an air-conditioned bus. But last night, I hopped in the third "decent" Bicutan-bound bus. To cut the story short, I moved away from the window seat three times int the entire trip because I thought those three times will cause a collision and I will die or suffer first before dying.

So after that three close encounters to accidents, it got me thinking what would be my initial reaction if I was caught in a bus-related accident. My first instinct would be protect myself using my trust backpack. Second, I'd probably, if i have a  few seconds to spare, I would position myself under the seats of the bus. Third and last, I would probably hold on to the railings. Stupid, I know. 

And then it hit me. I remember Sir Jef, one of my bosses, told me he's going to be involved in an head on collision, he would remove his seatbelt, and embrace the impact. And I thought, I'll do the same thing. I'll embrace the impact. No more agonies, no more pain. Instant death.

And this is where it gets interesting, if you know you are about to die and you have few seconds of life, what would be your last words? 

I thought about that too while riding the bus. I was contemplating between uttering,  I'm sorry and  I love you Mum. I was like, too dramatic. But then I it hit me. I found the perfect two-word for my last seconds of my life. 

Thank you. 

Sunday, January 12, 2014