Twice is too much

It happened again. The second time.

I can't believe I fell for it again. I asked him why, it can't happen, the two of us. He didnt give me any answers. He just wants us to be friends first, for the second time. He is not ready for any "deep" friendship. He's fine tuning himself, fixing his issues. 

He's so selfish. And narcissistic. 

I was so ready to risk myself to a relationship even if it is so uncertain. I know I should never enter into realtionship that is so malabo but I should never turn down something beautiful. I weighed the risk that was him. For me, he was worth the risk. 

I was deceived. I was hurt. I am still hurt. 

Now, purging begins.

I would like to thank my bosses for being there for me for the past week. I love them for that.  

My first

I just saw my first ever LIVE PBA game ever. And it was awesome! Thanks to my friend, Lanie, for giving me free tickets. 

After watching Petron team lose, we headed over to Dillingers to cap off the work week. 
I saw people I haven't seen for quite some time and some of them, it was my first time to talk to them even though I've met them before. 

Lanie, Peachy and I ended the night at Whistlestop. 

Day four: He starts to text and then He falls asleep. Repeat. I think that action of his is on loop. And then he messaged me on Facebook, sending a link about quarter-life crisis. 

Just please stop. 

Close to relapsing

Day four: I couldn't help but think about you. I miss your random messages and how you still ask "how are you", your most hated question. 

I want to tell you that I do like you. Not just like, but like, like you. I don't know if you like me too. Like, like me too. I guess I'll never know. 

I need to flush you out of my system. I need to shift to another direction because I can't go on waiting for you. You might be waiting for someone, too. 

But I wish you'd tell me so that I won't look stupid, going along..

I have to fight.

It's starting

Shift,

Day three: it was a cold, cold day even though it was sunny. 

Good thing, my sister and I watched Percy Jackson and walked around. I bought myself a lovely pair of dangling earrings. I am thinking of starting my dangling earrings collection. We'll see 

So last June, Arvi's cousins from Germany came here for a short vacation. Arvi asked me if I could accompany her and her cousins in Manila. I happily obliges. From Divisoria, to Binondo, to Quiapo then to Glorietta. Two days later, we went to URBN. And boy, I was so fucked up. Good thing my good friend, Cay, was in the area. She picked me up and brought me home.

Shifting ver 2

Day two: I saw a break and took it. Now I feel disappointed. 

But yesterday, a friend of mine made my shifting bearable. Thank you, C! 

I'll update you bit by bit about what happened for the past two months.

My highschool kabarkada, Mads, finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl last 4th of July. Her name is Alexa Sabine and she's so precious. 

I cant wait to meet her!! 

Shifting

I am shifting. Moving to a new direction. 

Day one: It's a bit hard, but I know I can do it. I NEED A DRINK. 

Updates about my June and July are on the works.

I end this post with this. 

On new places and taking a ton of photos

I just realized that taking photos is not so important when you're in a new place/country. You are so busy taking photos of buildings, objects, telephone booths, train stations, bus stops, stores, etc., that you forget to immerse yourself in that certain moment. 

I was going through my England/Scotland photos a while ago.  Some of it instantly brought me back to that place but others were so vague to that point that I was almost into tears. I couldn't remember what happened during that day or that hour. As a sentimental person, I wanted to punch myself for letting this happen. 

It's just pointless to take a hundred or a thousand photos and forgetting where you are, who you with, the color of the sky, the weather, the time. Those things are really the important ones you should remember. 

Photographs are just mere aides. Never again